Sunday, September 1, 2013

Today's Jane Report

                     It has been learned from an anonymous source that Jane Doe Dog has joined The Land Carp Gang.  With a swiftness beyond human comprehension The Carps introduced themselves and recruited Jane Doe Dog into the begging,  gluttonous life style for which the pack is famous.  These marauding canines will over come any obstacle and reduce themselves to any level in order to obtain food  from any and all sources available to them.  The sound of an opening refrigerator door,  the click-click of a can opener as it cuts thru tin, the slide of a silverware drawer opening or the unwrapping of a foil  covered pouch will cause the pack to swarm and descend in an eating frenzy that would disgrace any shark in the sea.  
It was hoped that Miss Jane would be able to hold herself above the group and show herself an example of genteel self control and southern manner, she was not.  Sadly, once recruited there have been no extractions from The Carp Gang, the rewards are simply too great.   It is hoped that by making humans aware of this ever growing situation something will be done to stop the corruption of our canine youth. 

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